Friday, October 16, 2009


Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

Okay, it's time to get totally down right, heartfelt, honest with ya'll! As one of my best friends, Lindsey says, I am "writing from the depths of my soul" today. Okay, this sum it up has been absolutely by far the hardest years of my life. And no, this is not a "pity party"; some people may think it is. But hear me out here. My father passed away in February as ya'll know. Well the date that happened was February 19th. Russell, my husband lost his job on February 20th. Yes, it was one boom after the next. Since those 2 days, every day has been a test....a test from God. Honestly, I am human and there has been many times when I have been.....get ready ya'll....angry at God. I hate even saying that, but hey, I am being honest. Different issues have come up, like sometimes I have had a hard time getting out of the house and only wanting to just stay in. A lot has happened in the past 8 months. Emotions are like a roller coaster-especially with grieving. Every now and then I would read my Bible, or listen to Christian music, but mostly, I would spend a lot of time on the internet, staying up late, or talking on the phone. My heart was not open to what God wanted to tell me. And having an open heart in your Christian walk is a VERY important thing, by the way. Hey, I even stopped blogging for a couple months! But in September I did start reading my Bible more and reading it on a regular basis. What I am trying to say is, no matter what the situation may be; whether or not it is a great one or a horrible one, keep on keeping on! Always have faith! Keep your trust in the Lord! Since I have exercised my daily walk with God, I have felt a sense of peace overcome me more and more. God shows me many things that amaze me! Like, yesterday, Russell and I went riding around to look at the Fall scenery in the Arkansas Ozarks, and I felt God right beside me. We listened to Christian music like Casting Crowns, Skillet, and just more on KLRC (our fav Christian radio station) and it meant so much more to me. The words of the songs made me want to cry! And last night, we decided to stay up late and watch one of our VERY favorite movies, Fireproof. I cried and my heart had flutters! I got chill bumps! It was awesome! It's like the little things mean a lot too! And ya'll-every day is not going to be perfect. The only thing that is perfect is God! There will be hard days, BUT there will also be the best kind of days that you just will never forget! Russell had an interview today with a company here in NWA. He has had other interviews, but nothing like this one. He applied for this job Monday, they called him yesterday and today and he met w/ the manager today! He will find out in about a week or two if he got the job. I know it has been 8 months since the "walmart layoffs" but we have both learned a lot during these months! We both have a peace about this job interview. God only knows if he will get the job or not. We prayed very much about it yesterday, we prayed more and more about it today! And I cried more! It's a good cry though! I will say again, I am not perfect-no one is! However it is EXTREMELY important to have the Lord in your life. If I did not have God in my life, I don't know how I would have gotten through or where I would be now! HE IS FAITHFUL! HE IS JUST! HE LOVES US! Invite HIM into your heart! Ask Him to forgive you of all your sins and come into your life. God loves us even though we do not deserve it! God sent his son Jesus to die on the cross and take the punishment for our sins! If you are reading my blog post today and have not asked Jesus in your heart, I sincerely invite you to ask Jesus in your heart right now and say this prayer to Him:

Dear Jesus,
I know I am a sinner, I know that I need you, Lord!
I am asking you for your forgiveness, Lord.
I trust you with my life.
I truly believe in my heart, and know you sent your son, Jesus to die for us so that we could have eternal life.
I now ask you that you cleanse me from my sins and become my Savior! I give myself to you! I love you! Amen!

To those of you who prayed that prayer: Congratulations! You have made the best decision you will ever make in your lifetime! There may be some that prayed that prayer and renewed their life to Christ! That is awesome too! God will never fail you! He is always there! If you have any more questions about salvation, prayer requests or anything, my email is on the sidebar!

Awesome verses about salvation:
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this; while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

I encourage each and every one of ya'll to love one another today, and every day. Be kind and compassionate to one another! Even people you may not even know! You never know who you will help today! Live every day like it is your last day! God has given you today!

Love ya'll!


allie-mac-fallie said...

Meredith, I just happened to stumble across your blog via "Kelly's Korner" and just wanted to thank you for your honesty about your walk with the Lord and let you know that I know and understand what you are going through. My dad passed away suddenly in a car accident on July 10, 2008. This past year + has been very difficult but Jesus has def. gotten me through it. I praise you bringing your struggles into the light so that others may see the power of Jesus! Keep your witness going, you never know who you might touch. Many blessings!

Beth said...

Thank you for posting this. I, too, have had one of those hard years (except mine has lasted more than 12 months). I went through a period of time when I was angry at God, quit reading my Bible and quit attending church. I wanted NOTHING to do with being a "christian" anymore. Then I kept seeing, or hearing little things that could only be from God and one day I broke. I cried and asked for His forgiveness and have started reading my Bible and praying again. I've even gone back to church. I have found some amazing friends and support there! God is SO good....if we give Him a chance! I'm praying things work out for husbands interview :)

petrii said...

What a beautiful, heart-felt post. I didn't know until your post on FB that Russell had lost his job, and day after the home-going of your father. I am so sorry dear one.

You are such a beauty, dear one. Thank you for sharing your heart. You will be in my prayers,

Becky said...

Thank you Meredith. You sound as if you are/were depressed. Loosing a daddy is tough. Yesterday I spoke at the funeral of my very dear friend. I am emotionally exhausted too.

God is so good. Always waiting when WE move. He never moves does He? So steadfast. Always waiting.

Your post is so honest. How I wish I knew you in life. I would wrap you in my arms and we would weep and then draw closer to Him together.

Maryellen said...

I think all Christians eventually get to the place you have been. It is normal. Life is hard. When tested with fire we often struggle. But what I have learned, long after the hard times are over something of gold God has woven into my life from this pain. I always try to pray Lord, don't let me waste this pain. Open my eyes to see the treasure and gold you have in it for me. What are you teaching me Lord? When I have come through to the other side I will have this treasure in my life and to help others.

Praying for you during this difficult time.