Emotions

Hello again! I know I just posted yesterday, in which I shared with you that we did have a long road to get pregnant. I shared mostly our excitement, but I now feel I need to share more about emotions I was really feeling as a woman and Russell got emotional at times too. I know many of you who have gone through infertility totally understand how hard it is to go through the journey of conceiving a child. Let me say to those who do not know. It can be SO SO hard! I realize that so many couples struggle much more that Russell and I ever did. I am still praying hard for those who have that genuine longing. After I was diagnosed with PCOS, I was so scared, and knew in my heart it would not by any means, be "easy" to have a baby. However, we kept praying and kept trusting. I went through depression from all the other life situations that happened (not just infertility) and gained so much weight because I did not even care about being healthy at the time. With PCOS, your system is out of whack and your cycles are definitely not regular. However, after we moved back to NWA in 2011, I was definitely ready for a change, because I was happy to be "home." Russell and I truly feel that NWA is our home, where we want to raise our children til they grow up. We love our church family, we love the atmosphere here, and we also love the cows that graze in the field just two blocks away from our house! HA! It's just home. Since I really felt so much better emotionally, spiritually, etc, I was then ready to take that step in Weight Watchers. I love that program and plan to get back on it as soon as possible after the baby is born. Throughout everything, even though we were so happy to be back, there were SO many couples we knew who announced they were expecting. There were also many gender reveal parties, baby showers, and more events going on. Let me be honest, I could not bring myself to go to them many times. Let me just say, if that is you right now, do not feel guilty. Go to the showers if you can, but if you cannot bring yourself to go, don't be hard on yourself. It's okay to stay home. Don't be a hermit and lock yourself in your house, but as long as you are dealing with this the healthy way, it's okay to stay home at times. There were many times when I just cried and cried. It was so hard waiting. Patience is not my strong suit, but I am working on it! :) Throughout the struggle, I just clung to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I really did. I read my Bible as much as I could and I also found as many inspirational quotes and verses that helped  get me through. I even resorted to Pinterest and made a secret board to collect sayings and verses that inspired me to keep going, keep the faith and never give up. There were many family members and close friends who prayed for us during this journey and still are praying for us. If you have a friend who is going through infertility, let me say praying is the best thing to do for them! God hears all prayers! Thanks to those who were always there for us and will always be there. We love y'all so much!
So sorry this post is so long. If you want me to pray for you, just let me know and I certainly will! Love ya'll bunches!
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11