Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving to y'all!

I must admit, this post will probably be long and transparent. I warn those of you who are in my family, you may cry, as I will probably cry typing this.

I am fully aware that I blog about Daddy a lot. I guess it is a way that I cope. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a talker and talk quite a bit! Ha! So I guess that's why I say so much on my blog. This is the real me and I am not going to change that. Ever. It's midnight on Thanksgiving. Russell and I are at my Mom's house, and I can't sleep. I was just thinking about how much I miss Daddy SO very much. I miss him every day of course, but holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas and even Easter are hard for me. Yes, I know it has been almost three years since he left this earth. But I will just say that I just hurt the same. 

 The first picture above is of Daddy carving the turkey years ago. He always made holidays a special occasion. He actually made every day special. He took time to enjoy what some people would say are the "little things", but I call them simple pleasures, like the moon and the stars, walking, Christmas lights, building fires, walking in the woods, etc. There are too many things to name. I am thankful for Jerry Jordan, whom I call Daddy. I will always be thankful for him. I am so thankful that God allowed him to be my Daddy. I am thankful that he and Mama took care of Kelly and I when we were babies, up til when we moved out of the house.

 I am thankful for the happiness he gave me. I am thankful for how much he spent time with me and showed me to always be open to discover new things-like a huge block of ice! HA! I am thankful that he showed me how to plant flowers and how to make a homemade wreath for Christmas. I am thankful, so thankful for not only the happiness, but the JOY he shared with me, Mama, and Kelly. There were so many laughs and smiles. I will be even more transparent to admit that sometimes when I look at some pictures of him, it still hurts. I love pictures of him of course, but I just miss him so much that it just hurts that much, if that makes any sense at all. It's a comfort, yet painful all at the same time.

 I am thankful that he made me feel special. The picture above is of Daddy and I. He gave me an award for learning how to ride my bike. He had it typed it up, notarized, and signed by him and his secretary at the car dealership! HA! It was a day I won't forget. I will never forget visiting him at his office. He was the best businessman I ever will know! He encouraged me to strive hard in whatever I do in life. Oh my gosh, I have to share this. When I was three years old, I remember I asked Daddy, "Where do people go when they die?" He then said, "Meredith, if someone has asked Jesus in their heart, then they go to heaven." I remember that like it was yesterday. I absolutely adore that memory.

 I am thankful for watching him be the best grandfather (JJ) to my nephew and niece. I will never forget the joy they always showed on their faces when they saw their JJ. He loved Logan and Lauren from the moment he layed eyes on them. What they may not know is that they gave him JOY almost as much as he gave them. Here goes another hard part to type, I am extremely grateful for him meeting and having Logan and Lauren, but I so wished that he would get to meet our children someday. However one of my friends told me that "he is already holding them in Heaven." I'd like to think of it that way, perhaps. But I know that Russell and I will tell our children ALL about their JJ and how wonderful he was and what precious memories we have and will always have of him.

I am so thankful for Daddy and Mama and Kelly. I am so thankful for Eric and Logan and Lauren. I am obviously thankful and so blessed to have Russell, the love of my life. I am so thankful for all my family members and friends. To family and friends that have always been there for me, especially in this trying time, THANK YOU! I am thankful for you as well! Some of you who are reading this may wonder, why is she typing this blog for everyone in cyberspace to see? Well, I will be honest. I don't really think of it that way. I actually use this blog as an online journal with lots of pictures, and also I pray this blog is used to help someone and encourage someone in some way. I just used this post as a way to vent, as I said before. I have to remember the Bible verse that says "God is our refuge and strength. Help in time of trouble"... We all should be reminded of that verse more often. Losing a loved one, especially a Daddy that you were close to, is hard. There's no way around it not being hard. It just is. However, like I mentioned and will say again, I am EXTREMELY THANKFUL for everything Daddy taught me and everything in between! I will always love Daddy. Thank you, Lord, for my Daddy.

The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out. Proverbs 10:9